Have been pointed in this direction by fechtbuch
to repost earlier LJ entry to more suitable location...
My parents are visiting my sister this weekend in Llanwhatevergogogoch. Fine. The phone rings, I pick it up with a 'hello' and get:
Mum: My feet hurt.
Me: Did you walk there? (trying to be funny)
Mum: No. Your father drove me. (misses humour)
Me: Not an awful lot I can do about your feet from here, Mum.
Mum: I think it's these boots.
Me: Take them off, then.
Mum: BILL! I NEED MY SLIPPERS!
Me: Anything else I can help you with?
Mum: Yes. Think your father may have left the bathroom light on. Could you go over and check for me and switch it off if he has?
Me: Can't you ring Eddie and Sue and ask? They've got a key too...
Mum: Oooh, I couldn't possibly put them out like that, dear.
Me: (spluttering)But they live next door! It's an hour round trip by car for me!
Mum: (huffily)You won't help then?
Me: I'll get the car keys...