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Jan. 7th, 2007

Paladin in Hell


(no subject)

"I was just going to tell you something, but I can't remember what it was, now.  It's completely slipped my mind.  Anyway, I'll tell you something similar...."

Dec. 21st, 2006



Christmas peace?

I am going to my brother's house for christmas dinner, and I called him to ask what I could bring along. He asked me to bake and bring a christmas cake. This reminded him of a conversation he had with my mother the day before.

I should preface it by explaining that my mother, although an extremely enthusiastic cook, is a terrible cook - constantly ruining things, messing up recipes, walking away and otherwise rendering inedible perfectly good food which in our childhood were referred to as 'burnt offerings'.

So my brother was talking with my mother about a new fire alarm he had just fitted at his home.

'Oh, those bloody things are a total waste of time!' remarked my mother. My brother expressed surprise, thinking that given her penchant for burning stuff, it would be a necessary item.

'Yes' she continued '...we've had one for ages and the stupid thing doesn't work. It drives me mad, it just keeps going off all the time!'

My brother and I just about died laughing.

Dec. 19th, 2006


(no subject)

I sent some Christmas compilation CDs to my mum in the post the other week, so that my dad could then take them to Amsterdam to give to my sister. I asked Mum whether she'd got the CDs OK, and Mum said yes, they arrived with no problems, and she'd put them on her iTunes before Dad took them to Amsterdam. Great, I said, so I don't need to bring my copies home for Christmas. 'Nope', says Mum proudly - 'and I've printed them out'! Meaning, of course, she'd made her own copies of the CDs!

Dec. 18th, 2006

Paladin in Hell


(no subject)

My mum just phoned, a day late for my birthday, to wish me; "Happy New Year!"...

Dec. 14th, 2006

Beyond Good and Evil's Jade


The Big Fish

My mother called. She's not a computer person. She probably has never been online. She asked me to go online and look at the biggest fish she's ever caught. Apparently a friend of the family posted it in their blog.

Two days later, I got a call from her. Normally it's one per week only.
Wondering what was up? She was only checking to see if I had looked at the big fish yet.

Nov. 26th, 2006

Paladin in Hell


(no subject)

Further couple of quotes from last few days:
[Answering her mobile] "No, I wasn't on the other phone - It's Andrew - he's playing on his Internet...".

[I'd been talking about being a first aider, helping out when players on the softball team have been injured]
Me: "Mostly, it's not been serious injuries though.  Mainly cleaning up the wound when Richard grazes his knee sliding into base yet again..."
Mum: "Is he the goalkeeper, then?"

Nov. 16th, 2006



Another one from years back, reported by my sister

Mum used to get me the latest Alistair MacLean thriller every year, knowing that I liked his books.
Xmas shopping one year, she went into bookshop, asked for the new Alistair MacLean paperback. The guy in the shop got it for her, and said;
"We have his new hardback as well, if you're interested...."
Thinking this might be a nice surprise for me, Mum asked how much it was.
The guy said "£10", or however much a hardback went for at that time.
"£10! For that rubbish?!", Mum said.
"Erm, you seemed quite keen to buy his new paperback..." the flustered shop guy said.
At which point, according to my sister, Mum replied with dignity;
"That's for my son - he likes rubbish!".

Nov. 8th, 2006

Don't look


What did she think?

I don't have much conversation as such with my Mum during my weekly visit. It's always on a Tuesday and quite often I am going to town to meetups or whatever afterwards. Once she got the hang of this arrangement she always asks me if I am going to town to meet my friends. She asks me the same few questions every week, bless!

Anyway, last night I also told her that I was going to a Thanksgiving party on the 23rd, blah de blah, and that "she" was from America.

To which dear old Mum replied "There's girls in your group?"

Nov. 2nd, 2006


(no subject)


Mum had been to stay with my sister in Canterbury, and she called to tell me all about what they'd been doing. She told me they'd found a gorgeous Japanese shop, where they'd got something to eat. She couldn't remember the name, but 'it definitely starts with M'. Oh, I think, she must mean Muji (chain of Japanese shops that sell stationery, clothes, homewares etc) - but I didn't know they did food. Oh yes, she says, Muji, that's it. So we carry on the conversation, and suddenly she says 'Hang on - how do you spell Muji?' So I tell her, and she says 'No...that's not it then...this place had a much longer name. Moogamooga. Moogamugga. Muggamugga...' 'Wagamama?' I say. 'Yes! Wagamama!'

Oct. 29th, 2006



I do love her really...

Have been pointed in this direction by fechtbuchto repost earlier LJ entry to more suitable location...

My parents are visiting my sister this weekend in Llanwhatevergogogoch. Fine. The phone rings, I pick it up with a 'hello' and get:

Mum: My feet hurt.
Me: Did you walk there? (trying to be funny)
Mum: No. Your father drove me. (misses humour)
Me: Not an awful lot I can do about your feet from here, Mum.
Mum: I think it's these boots.
Me: Take them off, then.
Me: Anything else I can help you with?
Mum: Yes. Think your father may have left the bathroom light on. Could you go over and check for me and switch it off if he has?
Me: Can't you ring Eddie and Sue and ask? They've got a key too...
Mum: Oooh, I couldn't possibly put them out like that, dear.
Me: (spluttering)But they live next door! It's an hour round trip by car for me!
Mum: (huffily)You won't help then?
Me: I'll get the car keys...


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