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Dec. 11th, 2009

shock

antof9

She has a mobile phone and is actually turning it on!

I just got an SMS from my mom: Hi im te@ching myself how to text mom
I replied: Hi! Am impressed :)
She figured out how to reply: How do i delete a leutter
Me: It's different on every phone. Do you have any sort of backspace-looking key?

That was about 20 minutes ago. I think her texting career may already be over.

Jan. 28th, 2009

Paladin in Hell

fechtbuch

(no subject)

"Of course, he was alive when he was living here..."

Oct. 7th, 2008

Paladin in Hell

fechtbuch

(no subject)

Mum was reading a TV review in her OK magazine:

"Secret Diary of a Call Girl, Thursday ITV:
Belle gets over her affair with Ben by throwing herself into her "work". Then her and Bambi are invited to a wild sex party at a country house, where she commits the cardinal sin of getting drunk on the job..."

Mum's response? She was shocked...

"That's disgraceful! It should say: 'she and Bambi are invited...'!"

Sep. 28th, 2008

sword

fechtbuch

For services to armchair retail?

Mum was telling me all about someone in a book she'd been reading.
Mum: "...and he had a very good war record with the Royal Air force - he won the D.F.S!"
Me: "Er, was that the DFC perhaps?"
Mum: "What's DFS, then?"
Me: "It's a furniture shop"

Jan. 10th, 2008

igor

fechtbuch

Weak electricity

"I must say, I don't think the electricity's very good here. The oven's not cooking nearly as quickly as my old one did"
"Mum, your old one was broken"
"It wasn't! It used to cook really well - much faster than it said on the packets or the recipes".
"That was because the temperature was wrong and it overcooked everything".
"Well, this one's hardly cooking at all - look!"
"It's not cooking because you keep opening the oven door to look at the food..."

Next day:
"I told you the electricity's not strong enough in this flat - this iron's not even getting hot... oh. It's not switched on. that's why".

Dec. 4th, 2007

sword

fechtbuch

(no subject)

I was helping Mum get soft furnishings for the flat she's moving to.
She sees a duvet cover and decides it would be perfect for her new bedroom.
We get home, and she sees it out of the harsh strip-lighting at Soft Furnishings Warehouse.
"Oh! It's blue!"
"Yes, I know"
"But I thought it was purple"
"No, it's navy blue"
"You knew it was blue?"
"Yes"
"Why didn't you tell me it wasn't purple?"
"I didn't know you wanted a purple one"
"But you could see it was blue and you didn't tell me!"
"But I didn't know you thought it was purple"
"Of course I thought it was purple - it looked purple"
"It looked navy blue - which it is"
"Then why didn't you tell me?"

Jul. 2nd, 2007

Paladin in Hell

fechtbuch

(no subject)

Mum, and a well-dressed old friend:
"That jacket's worn well!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you must have had it since you used to work for Yale!"
"Yale?"
"YSL stands for 'Yale Security Locks' doesn't it?"
"No. YSL stands for Yves Saint Laurent!"

Mar. 22nd, 2007

sword

fechtbuch

(no subject)

"He's supposed to be such an amazing cook - but he doesn't even have an oven glove!"

Feb. 21st, 2007

Beyond Good and Evil's Jade

vysion_of_books

Anyone miss conversations with your mom?

I just realized I didn't get the usual weekly call from my mother this weekend. Although I'm no telephone conversationalist, I find myself missing it.

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